An Illumination in the Shadows

I've so many to tell! But i can't believe I'm making 2 papers at my first day of classes this year. Grrrr not to mention I know for a fact that I failed my math long test and we'd get the results tomorrow! What a bad start!

Anyway, I don't know them personally but it's cool that I get the character I like looking at without cheating!


You're Asuran!


Gundam Seed Character Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla

I haven't watched the series yet but I will

yeah well, I'm still surviving. We get dismissed early for my first two classes. *snicker* that's a good start, isn't it? What isn't is that I am totally brain dead for the whole day. I didn't even notice that there were typos on the paper that I was reviewing.

Oh well. C'est la Vie.

It helps to the brain defieciency that I was only able to sleep two hours today.

Dude i want to plat video games and watch TV and sleep and eat and listen to music and play the neverending song of torete or learn some other tunes in the guitar...

...anything.

...just...as long as I don't need to fulfill deadlines.

Let's go back to couch potatoing shall we?

OK stop imagining. It won't happen. schools back.

For this term I'm staying at my cousins house. I hope this will really help me with my school activities. That means that I don't have to commute all the way to kapitolyo everyday, which really used to be a hassle.

It's been three days since I moved and I do miss the people at home already. I called yesterday and I wish i could do that more often but I do not want to abuse my priviledges.

Anyway, I'm supposed to do my surfing this mornng but I was too sleepy so I went to shool at my regular time which is 9:30. And, I was even late at that.

Some things are hard to change. *sigh*

Also the fact that I really want to play an online game right now except that I have to work in the OAA so that I can finish my work hours before things become busy.

My Mantra from now on is RESPONSIBLE STUDENT. I hope that I absorb it as I keep repeating stuff all over again, but then again that's a difficult feat to get done overnight so, I took the step of transferring so I get to spend more time at school.

Well, I guess I definitely feel more studious now that I have nothing to do.

But then again there are lots of gaming shops just across the school. hehheh. ) just kidding.

By the way, my cousins are really nice. That's why I guess I feel a little more comfortable since moving in. Haha But I'll miss the episodes of Gundam Seed and all those other shows. But I guess if you really want some things you have to give up some of the others and that's fine with me. I'd just get a DVD or a VCD with english subs or something.

...and despite the mantra I still suck at school work. I really have to fix myself.

Whee finally free cut. Now I could use my time by wasting it hehe.

Ooops I forgot about my responsible student mantra. Oh, well, it's free cut so that means I can be responisible some other time.

Good Lord, I'm not making any sense.

Anyway, here's something I wrote a while ago. It's a bit sketchy and it needs a lot of revision, but,

The foliage is lovely,
That is,
As I gaze upon the far horizon.
Wonderful
Peaceful ---
Unreachable.

Back to reality
Here I stay
Enclosed in the walls of bitter concrete
Even my mind,
Restricted to frolic
in the lush Gardens
Unable to breath the fresh air of the world.
Instead,
Suffocating.
Remembering futilely
The color dipped Maya
caged my aunt's
High rise home.

Caged.
For what crime?
Guilty of living a life,
Without the presence of it's captor.
A crime worth punishment indeed.

It must be sad.
For I feel it intensely,
The lonely,
The loneliness.
The desparate,
The desperation.

Somehow I think the Maya was better off
in steel bars
Than
Here in my classroom,
With no consolation.
Enclosed in mental bars of obligation.

Hold on to your sanity.

As for me, there's might be nothing left to hold on to.

>_<

I'm not a member of my course's home org ACTM, but their conducting a workshop for photoshop and flash. Photoshop I really don't need to take but I hope thet I can attend. My blockmate says that it's okay and she already asked and I'm really thankful.

Anyway, this is day five away from home and

A Week's loneliness
Can share the same pain of
Eternity.

Anyway, I can't go home today since I have NSTP tommorrow and I have to go to the exhibit at Eastwood for my Physics midterms, I think. ...damn...and I was thinking of celebrating my birthday tommorrow too... plus I was excited to go home after this long week, but I guess I can't.

I was also really late for physics today. I forgot that we had Laboratory and I only get 50% of the grade. That means I can't count on recovering my grades with Physics.

...and that sucks. I thought Nat Sci was my only chance and now, I ruin it.

I have to be more attentive at my classes and I have to be confident enough to answer with my stammering. Last English when we were defending our proposals, I kept saying unrelated nonsense. I was just too shy to actually say what I mean. It's not like back in high school.

Plus I think I was pretty afraid of descrimination. Argh. I mean from the proposals themselves they keep implying that Ateneo students are rich. I mean, they are proposing solutions to problems that I don't think are problems at all. I mean, sure about the parking lots, it needs a better system but I'd hate the parking lots to be paved. It's nice that it's soiled down and I like seeng the trees and the earth when I walk by the parking lots.

Besides, it was already argued that the paved parking lots would be hotter and they said, "the student's don't have to hang around', they don't, yeah. But what about thier chauffers? I mean it's too centered on themselves.

I mean they're lucky they even HAVE a car. I don't. A lot of people don't. I'm a scholar. Some scholars are better off financially than me. I accept that. ANd I commute to school. We don't have cars and I don't have any other gadget aside from my cell phone.

All these things about ATeneo being stingy and stuff and they're wasting what we pay blah blah blah.

I don't really think Ateneo would be as corrupt as my blockmate says they are.

I mean they allow me and other students to study in a place like this for free. And they don't charge much, we have to work, but also not much and they give us the same benefits the other students get and we are well treated and we are treated just like any other paying student.

I don't know how to react because I DON'T pay. And I like the facilities and buildings and the atmosphere of this school. I think yeah, we could use some improvements, but they're not stingy at all. For me, this university is actually very well-maintained.

I don't know but maybe that's because some of my English blockmates are those well-kept rich kids who haven't been anywhere else but nice places...

Not all of them are like that. And it's not that they deliberately act like that.

And maybe they're reallly nice people despite that.

It's just what I thought about it.

BUt then again, that's thier life and I can't butt in and do anything about it.

When I was choosing between ateneo and UP, that's what I was afraid of. I was more afraid of the students of Ateneo than of UP.

But oh well. There are also lots of nice people here in Ateneo, and my blockmates are nice. I hope they don;t change negatively through the 4 years we're spending here.

Anyway, I'm finally starting to understand math. As usual I had a hard time in the quiz, but at least I tried to think haha.

Astig....frst time ko magblog sa wireless net